There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
