ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
