i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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