I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
