people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
