clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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