I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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