okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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