the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize