we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
