I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
