I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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