when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize