i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
