It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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