There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think people are normalizing furries
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
