In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
