TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
being pregnant is like rehab
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
