hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
