His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
