he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
BRING THE BAGELS
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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