she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
