dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
