my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
