So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
