I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
