She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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