Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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