i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
