the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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