singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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