he shaved USA in his pubs
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
