just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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