It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
