carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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