was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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