I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
