so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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