that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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