I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
