two words...techno handjob
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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