Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Two words: blizzard sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
