I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
