I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
