This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
