just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
