Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
