you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
