recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
