Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
