Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
