Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
