I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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