Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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