I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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