the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
