He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
