My room smells like vodka and shame
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
