The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
if only i could text you this smell
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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