she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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