shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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