xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
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