Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
