I don't remember. Are we still dating?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
