is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You can't just leave with hair like that
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
