Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
