R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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