if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
