just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
