Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
