lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sober January is a disaster.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
