NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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