tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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