How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
